Earlier, I wrote about things I have learned in my 34 years... And as the day set aside for celebrating my birth comes to a close, I think it is only fitting that I set forth some goals- 34, to be exact- for the next year (God willing- of my life)... After all, you can't get anywhere without a plan, right?
1- I will talk to a new new person once a week, for a period of no less than fifteen minutes.
2- I will laugh with my children every day.
3- I will tithe on a more consistent basis.
4- I will spend time cultivating relationships both professionally and personally.
5- I will become a WORTHWHILE and PROFITABLE investment.
6- I will pay off 3 debts and avoid the creation of more debt.
7- I will write simply for the joy of writing.
8- I will run a 3-5k.
9- I will call my Grandparents more often.
10- I will take time out for me.
11- I will take a vested position of interest when it comes to my community and the goings on therein.
12- I will take more responsibility for the state of my affairs and make changes where and when necessary.
13- I will learn to do something new every month.
14- I will get to know my nephew and he will get to know me.
15- I will read more news articles.
16- I will cultivate my gifts.
17- I will explore more.
18- I will work to create a healthy atmosphere in body, mind and spirit.
19- I will tell my family that I love them.
20- I will create a five year plan for my life.
21- I will successfully write a grant.
22- I will take my L-Sats and my Realtor's Exam.
23- I will become proficient in hand gun safety, shooting and will get my concealed weapons permit.
24- I will accept the things I have no control over and I will get less frustrated with those situations.
25- I will read my Bible more.
26- I will pray more.
***This is really hard. Who knew that coming up with 34 goals for my life would be this difficult?***
I honestly cannot think of more things I would like to do in the coming year, with my life. Even though I have been unable to think of 34 goals for the next year of my life, I am not disheartened. I do not feel I have not risen to the challenge of mapping where I want my life to go. In fact, I feel invigorated. I am ready to face the new day. I am ready to start putting check marks next to the things I accomplish and I am even looking forward to the harder things. I am looking forward to getting out of my comfort zone as I grow more into this wonderful woman God has called me to be.
And as the night winds down for me, I challenge you to set some goals for yourself... I do not mean the traditional New Year's Resolutions, either. I mean from the heart, planning my route, mapping my journey goals. Ask yourself where you want to go and then start writing things down that will ensure you get there. Taking it a step further- are you bold enough to share it with me or the rest of the social media world? If not, then how will you be holding yourself accountable to you?
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Now, Let's Go Get Some Cake!
You know today is my born day... If anyone should ask, I am 21.
Yeah right. I really don't think I could be paid to revisit that age. I am so very proud of where I am right now. I am proud of my accomplishments. I am proud of my goals. I am proud of the woman I have become.
A few weeks ago, Tyler Perry celebrated his birthday and he wrote a list of the things he had learned to that point in his life. I was inspired. Thank you Mr. Perry for the inspiration!
So, here goes... 34 things I have learned in my 34 years:
1. God is Good All of the Time. (No matter what situation or circumstance you find yourself in, God continues to be good to and for you. Without question.)
2. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. (Its true. People will not always be around. People will not always care. Self motivation is important and without it, your vision may start to crumble.)
3. You need a vision. (In order for anybody else to see potential for your life, you have to see it for yourself, first.)
4. You need God in your life. (As in you need a daily intimate relationship with HIM.)
5. It is good to laugh. (If you need further explanation, then you need to start laughing more.)
6. If you work hard, you deserve to play hard and likewise, if you play hard, you need to work hard. (If you compromise this formula in any way, you have the ingredients to make disaster.)
7. In life, it is the little things that matter. (You know, its true what they say about stopping to smell the roses...)
8. Reading is fundamental.
9. Life is like a roller coaster (there will be ups and there will be downs, sometimes you will giggle in delight and sometimes you will scream in fright.)
10. It is good to have friends, but it is even better to befriend yourself. (As I said previously, people aren't always going to be around, so you may want to get to know yourself and enjoy hanging out with you.)
11. Life is a classroom (It is up to you to decide how much you are going to learn.)
12. If you do not stand for something, you will fall for any and everything.
13. When you are on the path that God would have you to be on, you really can move mountains. (You know faith like a mustard seed...)
14. Teen age girls are lucky to make it to adulthood. (That reminds me, I need to call my mom and tell her thank you for allowing me to live past my rebellion stage...)
15. A moment on the lips = FOREVER on the HIPS! (Gluttony is a sin)
16. If you lay down with dogs, you will surely wake up with fleas. (Keep your legs closed and your mouth out of places it doesn't belong.)
17. It takes a village to raise a child and accomplish all of your other goals too! (People are put in place all around you to lead and guide you, they have experienced things that will bless you and have learned things they can teach you- LEARN FROM THEM. LET THEM HELP YOU.)
18. From time to time, you will need to be an adult (It is probably for the best that this skill is mastered before it is needed, otherwise you end up looking unprofessional, unintelligent, and foolish.
19. Love is an action word and that action should never intentionally hurt you. (In other words, if the one who loves you introduces your mouth to their fist- it ain't love and if you are begging for attentions and affections, then that love ain't an action!)
20. Forgiveness is essential to your daily life.
21. God is a HEALER.
22. Everyone has a closet. Everyone has a skeleton in that closet. (Might as well let everyone know up front what's in your closet, that way they can decide to not be a part of your life before you have invested so much of you into them.)
23.There is NOTHING new under the sun. (Whatever you are going through and whenever you are going through, someone else has already gone through it. Bottom line- it won't kill you.)
24. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... (Coal is tossed into a fire and becomes diamonds, hmm... Diamonds in the rough, maybe?)
25. You cannot please everyone at every given moment. (Ensuring your own happiness goes along way and can often times impact the attitude others present when in your presence.)
26. Explore your world. (There is a reason the earth is round and not boxed in shape.)
27. You don't need to tell everyone everything. (It is good to have secrets, especially when it comes to the designs/ plans of your life. Haters are a real thing.)
28. "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a FALSE statement. (Broken bones will heal, whereas, the wounds of words sometimes NEVER heal.)
29. Hind sight is 20/20. (You will do things that you regret. Be mindful of this when you are determining whether to participate or not participate in a thing or whether or not to do something. If you regret it later, is it a regret you will be ok with?)
30. There is a GOD who made the universe and everything in it.
31. Be thankful. (Appreciation makes getting help easier.)
32. Be humble. (You did not do it all by your lonesome. There are several, if not thousands or millions of people who helped you up that ladder.)
33. Parenthood makes you crazy. (I think I have well established this. If you are a parent, I am sure you understand and if you are not a parent, just look at your parents and you might know what I am talking about.)
34. Don't be afraid to try new things. (If you are constantly worried about the what-ifs, you will miss out on far to many should haves or could be's.)
Now, let's go get some cake!
Yeah right. I really don't think I could be paid to revisit that age. I am so very proud of where I am right now. I am proud of my accomplishments. I am proud of my goals. I am proud of the woman I have become.
A few weeks ago, Tyler Perry celebrated his birthday and he wrote a list of the things he had learned to that point in his life. I was inspired. Thank you Mr. Perry for the inspiration!
So, here goes... 34 things I have learned in my 34 years:
1. God is Good All of the Time. (No matter what situation or circumstance you find yourself in, God continues to be good to and for you. Without question.)
2. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. (Its true. People will not always be around. People will not always care. Self motivation is important and without it, your vision may start to crumble.)
3. You need a vision. (In order for anybody else to see potential for your life, you have to see it for yourself, first.)
4. You need God in your life. (As in you need a daily intimate relationship with HIM.)
5. It is good to laugh. (If you need further explanation, then you need to start laughing more.)
6. If you work hard, you deserve to play hard and likewise, if you play hard, you need to work hard. (If you compromise this formula in any way, you have the ingredients to make disaster.)
7. In life, it is the little things that matter. (You know, its true what they say about stopping to smell the roses...)
8. Reading is fundamental.
9. Life is like a roller coaster (there will be ups and there will be downs, sometimes you will giggle in delight and sometimes you will scream in fright.)
10. It is good to have friends, but it is even better to befriend yourself. (As I said previously, people aren't always going to be around, so you may want to get to know yourself and enjoy hanging out with you.)
11. Life is a classroom (It is up to you to decide how much you are going to learn.)
12. If you do not stand for something, you will fall for any and everything.
13. When you are on the path that God would have you to be on, you really can move mountains. (You know faith like a mustard seed...)
14. Teen age girls are lucky to make it to adulthood. (That reminds me, I need to call my mom and tell her thank you for allowing me to live past my rebellion stage...)
15. A moment on the lips = FOREVER on the HIPS! (Gluttony is a sin)
16. If you lay down with dogs, you will surely wake up with fleas. (Keep your legs closed and your mouth out of places it doesn't belong.)
17. It takes a village to raise a child and accomplish all of your other goals too! (People are put in place all around you to lead and guide you, they have experienced things that will bless you and have learned things they can teach you- LEARN FROM THEM. LET THEM HELP YOU.)
18. From time to time, you will need to be an adult (It is probably for the best that this skill is mastered before it is needed, otherwise you end up looking unprofessional, unintelligent, and foolish.
19. Love is an action word and that action should never intentionally hurt you. (In other words, if the one who loves you introduces your mouth to their fist- it ain't love and if you are begging for attentions and affections, then that love ain't an action!)
20. Forgiveness is essential to your daily life.
21. God is a HEALER.
22. Everyone has a closet. Everyone has a skeleton in that closet. (Might as well let everyone know up front what's in your closet, that way they can decide to not be a part of your life before you have invested so much of you into them.)
23.There is NOTHING new under the sun. (Whatever you are going through and whenever you are going through, someone else has already gone through it. Bottom line- it won't kill you.)
24. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... (Coal is tossed into a fire and becomes diamonds, hmm... Diamonds in the rough, maybe?)
25. You cannot please everyone at every given moment. (Ensuring your own happiness goes along way and can often times impact the attitude others present when in your presence.)
26. Explore your world. (There is a reason the earth is round and not boxed in shape.)
27. You don't need to tell everyone everything. (It is good to have secrets, especially when it comes to the designs/ plans of your life. Haters are a real thing.)
28. "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a FALSE statement. (Broken bones will heal, whereas, the wounds of words sometimes NEVER heal.)
29. Hind sight is 20/20. (You will do things that you regret. Be mindful of this when you are determining whether to participate or not participate in a thing or whether or not to do something. If you regret it later, is it a regret you will be ok with?)
30. There is a GOD who made the universe and everything in it.
31. Be thankful. (Appreciation makes getting help easier.)
32. Be humble. (You did not do it all by your lonesome. There are several, if not thousands or millions of people who helped you up that ladder.)
33. Parenthood makes you crazy. (I think I have well established this. If you are a parent, I am sure you understand and if you are not a parent, just look at your parents and you might know what I am talking about.)
34. Don't be afraid to try new things. (If you are constantly worried about the what-ifs, you will miss out on far to many should haves or could be's.)
Now, let's go get some cake!
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Who Cares About the Children
This, what I am doing right here, is a PSA---> That's Public Service Announcement for all you young heads who have no idea what its like to have only 12 channels to watch on TV and have never experienced TV going OFF air for the night. Anyway, back to my PSA...
As I see the things happening around me, I am shocked (maybe, I am not really shocked, because I sort of was expecting things to fall completely in the crapper, but that can just be between you and me) and I am truly concerned for the well being of our children- who are the FUTURE of the US of A (and if you needed to be reminded of that, then we are in a worse state of affairs than even I had imagined.)
You see, in all of this craziness with the Government, not one single solitaire governmental official has said or even hinted that we need to come to a resolution to this mess FOR the children. You see, it is the children who will suffer most through all of this drama.... Yes, I know, you are thinking you will suffer to, because you won't be able to pay your mortgage and you won't be able to put gas in your car and all of the other 999,999,999,999 thousands of ways you will be affected, but here's the thing: you and I are adults. We can come up with a plan and be generally pretty good about sticking through with it. We will survive. BUT our children, who I said are our future leaders, are loosing faith in a system that they will one day be called upon to head. If they loose faith now, what is going to inspire them to want to be a part of it in the future?
Also, might I add that whilst all of this foolishness is going on, school still happens (and anyone with a child in kindergarten, at least, knows of the expense that comes with your child's schooling)- field trips go on or they get cancelled because the Government Closed (because the important thing is that we take away the fun things that enhanced our children's educational lives and puts them at an even further disadvantage from our European/Asian counterparts), kids still need to eat (which means you will either have to send them to school with their lunch, which of course means you are still making those weekly trips to the grocery store or you are sending them to school with money in their pockets to buy their lunch- I wonder how long it'll be before someone reaches in their pockets and pulls out nothing but lent... All because the Government wants to demonstrate what it is like to have a room FULL of TODDLER children AND WE- the ADULTS- ALLOW THEM TO DO IT.
So, I am forced to as again, "Who cares about the children?" If we do not learn very quickly to stand together and unite our voices, the children will be the ones most affected. If we do not learn to play nicely in the sand box and share our toys, our children (who will one day, very soon, lead this country) will learn that throwing a temper tantrum gets you what you want. If we do not learn the true meaning of democracy, our children will cease to believe it exists and where will that leave us when they are inn charge? If we do not say to one another, "I disagree, but I at least understand what you want to accomplish. How can we work together to accomplish this?" and if we do not learn to LISTEN ACTIVELY, then our children will learn that there is no such thing as conflict resolution.
POWER TO THE PEOPLE- can really happen. VIVA LA REVOLUTION- starts in your community. WE SHALL OVERCOME- gives hope to our children, our future.
Having said about all I can in an attempt to get you to understand how drastically the situations we face at this point and time are and how important it is to get involved... I leave you with this: What is happening in our National Government is only a demonstration of what is happening on a city/county level. it is time to crack the book open ans actually read what is happening and not depend on the cliff notes.
If you are in or around RVA, I invite you to come out to the Richmond Coalition for Quality Education's Community Awareness Debut Program, where you can begin to gain understanding and join in the fight for our children. 3 pm Sanctuary of 31st Street Baptist Church Richmond,VA 23233.
Who cares about the children? I care.
Who cares about the children? Richmond Coalition for Quality Education cares.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled lives, already in progress.
As I see the things happening around me, I am shocked (maybe, I am not really shocked, because I sort of was expecting things to fall completely in the crapper, but that can just be between you and me) and I am truly concerned for the well being of our children- who are the FUTURE of the US of A (and if you needed to be reminded of that, then we are in a worse state of affairs than even I had imagined.)
You see, in all of this craziness with the Government, not one single solitaire governmental official has said or even hinted that we need to come to a resolution to this mess FOR the children. You see, it is the children who will suffer most through all of this drama.... Yes, I know, you are thinking you will suffer to, because you won't be able to pay your mortgage and you won't be able to put gas in your car and all of the other 999,999,999,999 thousands of ways you will be affected, but here's the thing: you and I are adults. We can come up with a plan and be generally pretty good about sticking through with it. We will survive. BUT our children, who I said are our future leaders, are loosing faith in a system that they will one day be called upon to head. If they loose faith now, what is going to inspire them to want to be a part of it in the future?
Also, might I add that whilst all of this foolishness is going on, school still happens (and anyone with a child in kindergarten, at least, knows of the expense that comes with your child's schooling)- field trips go on or they get cancelled because the Government Closed (because the important thing is that we take away the fun things that enhanced our children's educational lives and puts them at an even further disadvantage from our European/Asian counterparts), kids still need to eat (which means you will either have to send them to school with their lunch, which of course means you are still making those weekly trips to the grocery store or you are sending them to school with money in their pockets to buy their lunch- I wonder how long it'll be before someone reaches in their pockets and pulls out nothing but lent... All because the Government wants to demonstrate what it is like to have a room FULL of TODDLER children AND WE- the ADULTS- ALLOW THEM TO DO IT.
So, I am forced to as again, "Who cares about the children?" If we do not learn very quickly to stand together and unite our voices, the children will be the ones most affected. If we do not learn to play nicely in the sand box and share our toys, our children (who will one day, very soon, lead this country) will learn that throwing a temper tantrum gets you what you want. If we do not learn the true meaning of democracy, our children will cease to believe it exists and where will that leave us when they are inn charge? If we do not say to one another, "I disagree, but I at least understand what you want to accomplish. How can we work together to accomplish this?" and if we do not learn to LISTEN ACTIVELY, then our children will learn that there is no such thing as conflict resolution.
POWER TO THE PEOPLE- can really happen. VIVA LA REVOLUTION- starts in your community. WE SHALL OVERCOME- gives hope to our children, our future.
Having said about all I can in an attempt to get you to understand how drastically the situations we face at this point and time are and how important it is to get involved... I leave you with this: What is happening in our National Government is only a demonstration of what is happening on a city/county level. it is time to crack the book open ans actually read what is happening and not depend on the cliff notes.
If you are in or around RVA, I invite you to come out to the Richmond Coalition for Quality Education's Community Awareness Debut Program, where you can begin to gain understanding and join in the fight for our children. 3 pm Sanctuary of 31st Street Baptist Church Richmond,VA 23233.
Who cares about the children? I care.
Who cares about the children? Richmond Coalition for Quality Education cares.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled lives, already in progress.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Let's Talk About Sex Baby
"Let's talk about sex, baby... Let's talk about you and me... Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be... Let's talk about sex..."- You know you remember the song by Salt N Peppa. In fact, you are probably singing it to yourself right now. It was a catchy tune way back when.
"Let's get it on... We're all sensitive people... With so much love to give, understand me sugar... Since we got to be... Let's say, I love you... Let's get it on..." (Marvin Gaye, from even further 'back in the day.')
"Come inside, take off your coat, Ill make you feel at home. Now let's pour a glass of wine 'cause now we're all alone. I've been waiting all night so just let me hold you close to me, 'cause I've been dyin' for you girl and make love to me. Girl you make me feel real good. We can do it 'til we both wake up. Girl, you know I'm hooked on you, And this is what we'll do... I wanna sex you up. All night..." (Who can forget Color Me Bad?)
You are probably jammin right about now, but somewhere in the grown up recess of your brain, I am sure you are asking yourself "what's the point?" (I do have a point, I promise. I'm just not ready to reveal it yet. So there.)
It is no secret that I am an addict (to Facebook, people- let's not go all crazy and stuff), so it really should not come as a surprise when I say I read what people write at least 20 times a day... However, you people are killing my addiction and I am not okay with that!!!
If I read one more CRAZY post from someone about "I'm on the phone with my hubby" (FYI hubby is the new term for guy I just got in a relationship with 2 HOURS ago) or "I can't wait for my hubs to come over" or "I love the hubs, but I don't understand why he doesn't talk to me" or "I love him. He's my hubby, but why doesn't he ever call me?"- I am going to be forced to punch somebody in the face! (You better realize this is a complete figure of speech and I better not be getting any CRAZY emails about how I need anger management or some silly stuff like that!
Just to be clear, allow me to share some definitions with you all-
love (as defined in the BIBLE): Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
***If you have to ask him to respect you, if you find that more times than not- he is unkind to you, if you feel disrespected more than you feel honored, if you are always being told what you do wrong and what you have done wrong since the time of your birth, if he is constantly lying to you or being deceitful and if he is always threatening to leave you- IT IS NOT LOVE***
marriage: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (Merriam Webster Online Dictionary)
***if you did not go to the Court House or the Church and STAND before GOD and some witnesses, followed by the signing of some legal papers- YOU HAVE NO HUSBAND***
playing: to live as if married without actually being legally married
***he didn't promise to love, honor or cherish you. He didn't promise to stay with you forever and he didn't agree to spending time with you. All he agreed to was that he was gonna have the same address as you and MAYBE be accessible for regular intercourse***
So, let's recap. Sex does not = love or signify a relationship. Playing House does not = love or signify a relationship. Marriage does not = love. Refer to definition of love and be prepared to work at it EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY for the REST of your life. If you aren't prepared to work it, then you don't need to be in it. If you don't need to be in it, you DEFINITELY don't need to tell the world via Facebook how much of a mess you are in right now. Respect yourself more than theman, boy or child you are with does.
"Let's get it on... We're all sensitive people... With so much love to give, understand me sugar... Since we got to be... Let's say, I love you... Let's get it on..." (Marvin Gaye, from even further 'back in the day.')
"Come inside, take off your coat, Ill make you feel at home. Now let's pour a glass of wine 'cause now we're all alone. I've been waiting all night so just let me hold you close to me, 'cause I've been dyin' for you girl and make love to me. Girl you make me feel real good. We can do it 'til we both wake up. Girl, you know I'm hooked on you, And this is what we'll do... I wanna sex you up. All night..." (Who can forget Color Me Bad?)
You are probably jammin right about now, but somewhere in the grown up recess of your brain, I am sure you are asking yourself "what's the point?" (I do have a point, I promise. I'm just not ready to reveal it yet. So there.)
It is no secret that I am an addict (to Facebook, people- let's not go all crazy and stuff), so it really should not come as a surprise when I say I read what people write at least 20 times a day... However, you people are killing my addiction and I am not okay with that!!!
If I read one more CRAZY post from someone about "I'm on the phone with my hubby" (FYI hubby is the new term for guy I just got in a relationship with 2 HOURS ago) or "I can't wait for my hubs to come over" or "I love the hubs, but I don't understand why he doesn't talk to me" or "I love him. He's my hubby, but why doesn't he ever call me?"- I am going to be forced to punch somebody in the face! (You better realize this is a complete figure of speech and I better not be getting any CRAZY emails about how I need anger management or some silly stuff like that!
Just to be clear, allow me to share some definitions with you all-
love (as defined in the BIBLE): Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
***If you have to ask him to respect you, if you find that more times than not- he is unkind to you, if you feel disrespected more than you feel honored, if you are always being told what you do wrong and what you have done wrong since the time of your birth, if he is constantly lying to you or being deceitful and if he is always threatening to leave you- IT IS NOT LOVE***
marriage: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (Merriam Webster Online Dictionary)
***if you did not go to the Court House or the Church and STAND before GOD and some witnesses, followed by the signing of some legal papers- YOU HAVE NO HUSBAND***
playing: to live as if married without actually being legally married
***he didn't promise to love, honor or cherish you. He didn't promise to stay with you forever and he didn't agree to spending time with you. All he agreed to was that he was gonna have the same address as you and MAYBE be accessible for regular intercourse***
So, let's recap. Sex does not = love or signify a relationship. Playing House does not = love or signify a relationship. Marriage does not = love. Refer to definition of love and be prepared to work at it EVERY MINUTE of EVERY DAY for the REST of your life. If you aren't prepared to work it, then you don't need to be in it. If you don't need to be in it, you DEFINITELY don't need to tell the world via Facebook how much of a mess you are in right now. Respect yourself more than the
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