Conversations I have had with Valerie. Or should have had.

Me: Mom, I need you to call this place about a refund.

Valerie: What? What place?

Me: I think its called Georgetown something...

Valerie: Why do I need to call? You're a big girl. You call.

Me: I did call. They hung up on me. I'm thinking if you call, they'll listen to you, cause you're one of them.

Valerie: What are you talking about- I'm one of them?

Me: A nurse, Mom. You're a nurse. I figure you have a better chance of getting a refund than I did. They said I was a princess- I saw the pictures and the cards those people gave to you. And I have waited PATIENTLY for like 500 years and not a one of them has given me my crown yet. They lied. I want your money back.

Valerie: Goodbye Kimberly. I am busy and I do not have time for your silliness.

Me: But Mom!

Valerie: What???

Me: I love you.

Valerie: I love you too. Now what do you want?

Me: Nothing. I just wanted to say hi.

Valerie: Hi.

Me: I thought you said you were busy?

Valerie: I am and I have to go.

Me: Okay. Wait Kaira wants to talk to you. (As I proceed to call Kaira away from whatever game or thing she is doing, so she can converse with Valerie)

I do this ALL the time. I love calling my mom just to see how long I can keep her on the phone with meaningless conversation.- She hasn't caught on yet. And I don't even have to worry about her reading this, because she won't know about it. Did you hear me world? Its OUR SECRET.

Seriously, there are times that I want to tell certain members of my family to go get a refund on me... I, being the oldest girl grandchild, daughter, ect,ect, was supposed to go to college and graduate and become a teacher and a lawyer and all of this other really cool stuff. But, I, being the original outcast, went to college, met friends and played cards. That lasted one year, before they kindly asked me to leave... (actually, I got pregnant and decided I was leaving, then I got shot and my mom decided I was leaving, but if all that hadn't happened, they would've asked me to leave) and now 15ish years later, I am still lacking that illustrious degree (even though I have a massive amount of credits), I am just coming into me as a woman and I am just beginning to think about the possibility of taking those LSATs, it seems as if I have missed the opportunity of success in these certain family member's eyes...

Even though I feel I am finally on that boat of successful womanhood, its weird that my family members think I missed it and I am a 'lost cause'. I don't know whether to shake my fists angrily at them or stick my tongue out making the raspberry sound with my hands on either side of my face with fingers wiggling...

I have finally realized that I am the only one who can determine whether my life or any point in my life is a success and the merits that determine what success for me is. Hallelujah. I challenge you to go out and be successful in the best way you know how to be.