I HATE TRAFFIC

If you live on the East Coast between New York and Washington, DC or possibly Miami or on the West Coast (in the LA area, I'm told)- you understand what I mean when I say I HATE TRAFFIC.

Traffic is the most annoying thing ever known to man, I promise.

And if you really think about it, most traffic jams happen because a) some idiots way beyond where you can see decide to ride side by side at the same speed, so that no one is able to pass b) there has been an accident somewhere and everyone NOT involved in said accident is breaking their neck (and most times nearly causing another accident) to verify that their mom, dad, child, girlfriend/boyfriend, cousin, best friend, enemy, dog washer, realtor, pastor, neighbor, teacher or what have you, has not been involved in previously mentioned accident c) they are doing road work and some portion of the roadway is closed and more than one moronic idiot failed to notice, read or adhere to the signs posted stating the closure and now those of us who were mindful of the signs are forced to accommodate you non-readers at the point where said lane CLOSES and d) some poor fella has broken down on the side of the road and everyone tries to move to another lane to avoid hitting the person sitting in the car with the blinky lights- which causes a mass slamming on of the brakes from all the cars behind (however, this type of traffic generally moves pretty quickly and barely qualifies as being traffic, but hey-.)

If you haven't noticed- I HATE TRAFFIC. Its not that I don't have patience. I am perfectly satisfied with the level of patience I have been blessed with. Its that I have so many things I could be doing OTHER than sitting in traffic. If you ask me, to much time is wasted on minutes sitting in traffic.

At any rate, I found myself sitting in the despised mess earlier today. And I got to thinking about why I was sitting in traffic, I started musing on the reasons listed above and I had several AHA moments (oh and Oprah, I have no money, so kindly do not expect any royalty payments from this chic)...

#1- Are there any persons in my life that are refusing to let me pass, thereby 'keeping me in my place'? Feel free to make it personal, here... The sad answer: "yes". The obvious question: "why the hell am I allowing someone to STOP the progress of MY LIFE?" That in and of itself is CRAZY!!! Okay, admittedly, I am kind-a out there and I got a lot of crazy in me, but this absolutely ridiculous. Even for me.

#2- How many people in my life are only there to observe the carnage? Seriously. I just developed another reason why I hate traffic- it gives me time to think about this stuff and then just when my brain has processed the load, it starts moving again and I am left without the time to figure out how I am going to absolve myself of the waste. But, I digress. We are focusing on #2... I have had a lot of destruction (or what I thought of as destruction), failures, tragedies and so on. I can't help but wonder how many people have practically broken their necks trying to watch my demise, live and in person... And I am not the only one who has this kind of crazy going on in my life, either, so get off your high and mighty right this second and acknowledge your crazy! What is wrong with us that we allow these kind of people in our lives??? Ugh. Need I say again, I hate traffic.

#3- Be ware of those people trying to jump in just before the door closes. They are the same people who never studied for a test and expected you to provide the answers when the teacher wasn't looking. They want you to do all of the work while they reap the benefits. Ha!

#4- Blinky lights are a good thing! Someone will see them and come to your rescue. You may have to sit and wait it out for a bit, but help is on the way. Don't be afraid to use your blinky things... You know, ask for help, call a hotline, go to AA...

Like I said, I now have another reason for hating traffic and that is the fact that now I have to deal with all this toxicity that sitting there allowed me to realize... But actually, its not that bad. it is time to do some serious house cleaning- and no I don't mean chasing under-the-bed dust bunnies with the broom, either. I mean, it is really time to examine life and see what's what and who's who. It doesn't matter how old you are or how young.

 It is important to know these kinds of traffic jams exist. Sometimes, they can be avoided if you have advance notice of them happening. Consider me your friendly neighborhood eye in the sky traffic reporter. So, now you have the information. Its up to you to decide the route you will take to get to your destination.